Being
by BrenRenQoI
Summary: PostEntity episode tag


Being

By Bren Ren

Sam took a slow sip of coffee, savoring the flavor, rolling it around on her tongue. It tasted so good; but then, so did everything after that thing was finally purged from her body. She swallowed then took another sip, still slowly savoring.

That was when Jack O'Neill found her in her lab, slowly enjoying the simple pleasure of a cup of coffee. He approached her slowly, not wanting to break the spell cast round her as she smiled at nothing. He placed a hand on her shoulder to alert her to his presence; she sighed and tilted her head into his hand.

She turned around slowly, the smile still gracing her face. "Hi, sir. I didn't hear you come in."

"You looked a little preoccupied," he commented.

"Just enjoying my coffee. Don't think it ever tasted so good." She set her cup down on the counter. "So what brings you by?"

The hint of a smile that had been playing at his mouth suddenly disappeared, and his eyes grew dark and narrowed slightly.

"Wanted to see how you're doing, first day back on after…" He trailed off.

Sam smiled. "I'm doing good, really. I feel… really alive. Every breath is something to treasure, every simple pleasure magnified ten fold. Have you ever experienced complete sensory deprivation?"

Jack nodded. "Once or twice."

"That's what it was like. Like being stuck in a vacuum. I couldn't see, hear, feel… anything. And yet at the same time, I was somehow aware of everything." She paused at the frown on Jack's face. "It didn't hurt at all, sir… when you fired at me. I couldn't feel a thing."

Jack winced. He swallowed hard as he found himself struggling for words.

"You did what you had to do. And I'm grateful, sir. You know that I would never want to live my life like that… with that thing stuck in me… I would rather be dead."

"You were dead. Because I killed you."

"You killed that thing, sir."

"I. Killed. You." His voice was very low and dangerously quiet. She had to strain to hear him completely, but strangely even that sensation was a delight.

"Sir… if its forgiveness you need, you have it. Not that there's anything to forgive, really. You did what you had to do to save me. You destroyed that thing. It left me because of you."

Jack's frown somehow deepened further, his eyes as dark as she'd ever seen. Twin pools of black wear boring their gaze down on her. She basked in the sight. "It left because of me?"

"Because of your threats. Because I made it realize that you know me so well, well enough to know I'd rather die than let it continue taking up residence in my body," Sam told him. "It's not my forgiveness you need. It's your own."

The words came tearing out his mouth. "How do I forgive myself for killing the woman I l—" He broke off suddenly, his eyes pleading her to understand.

Which, naturally she did. "You start by accepting the fact that I am still here, alive and well, and basically none the worse for the wear. Then you need to accept the fact that you had no other options but to fire. The safety of the base, for the safety of the rest of the whole planet, you had to eliminate that entity."

Jack stared at her for a long, quiet moment. "How the hell did I get so lucky as to have you in my life?" he asked softly.

She smiled, blushing just a little as she glanced down. When she lifted her head back up, her eyes were sparkling at him. "Fate, maybe?"

"Yeah, maybe," he replied. He took a small step closer, reaching out with one hand to touch hers.

She felt a familiar little jolt at the brief skin to skin contact, and she let a happy little sigh escape her lips. "I should… get back to work. So should you, sir," she said.

Another time, that three letter word at the end would have jerked him right back in line, but today, it didn't bother him so much. At the moment, it felt like an endearment. "Yes, because all that paperwork couldn't possibly wait another minute or two."

Her hand found his once again, and this time, she grasped it in her own, entangling their fingers. For another minute or two, they just stood there, holding hands, sharing a wealth of conversation with just their eyes. Then, ever so slowly, they parted. Jack walked backwards a couple of steps before finally tearing his gaze away from her as he turned around.

"So we're… okay, right?" She called out as he reached the door.

"Sure," he answered. "We're… okay." He left her alone in her lab with her coffee. She took another sip and sighed. That had gone better than she dared hope for, she thought with a smile.


End file.
